Riding the flow

It’s been a month, preoccupied? I’m occupied I know, I’m on the track or I’m just as lost as micheal buble’s song. Some events are attained and some are not, project targets and progress from old ones to newly proposed I’ve managed, I’m up to the task and head over heels. Recent life change, am I hoping to be somewhere? I’m riding the flow I guess but Godspeed to anything or everything. Last month was moment of lost and found. God have mercy upon human souls and show the light to whom may need and I will still pray for them, how preciously miss but never forgotten I will pray for them.

Still far from end I know my project is going somewhere. Amends and omits, proposed and on hold I’m there to attain it. Exhausted, tired and bored I felt the blow but days past I was catching a new light and it enlighten me. Survival of the fittest! I must be fit. I’m looking for newly fresh ideas and perspectives.
Bah! I’m still looking……………

My cousin is having fun with musical studies I’m glad for him, personally I think he has improved lots, far from what I expected yet there’s still room for improvement to be the best. As everybody would say; practice, practice and practice.

Crap! My writing is going else where but here…

Kotobian Tadau Raya

Wishing all people around the world not only to muslims a happy raya, as for Malaysians enjoy the holidays. Remember to drive safely and travel safe till destination. Not much to say just;
“tunudon ku ohopod tunturu ku moki ampun kuma dikoyu nung haro kasalaan yoku om kotobian tadau raya kuma dikoyu.” Bah ngam laitu.

P/s- I see glitters of light in every human’s heart for it is a festive to come not just for the excitement but for the apologies and forgiveness as we shall seek as well as give. Ye whom speak of pain will put an end as we will embrace the hearts of the broken mend and laughter till dusk we shall see.

Not yet!

Dare to try or die trying? I’m stuck with my work and usually it means we’re at the end of year. Time flies, I was just remembering back on the struggle and sacrifices we had made for the soft opening of 1borneo. True time flies, as casualties are not to be forgotten in making it possible. I suffered myself but I managed by the skin of my teeth yet we all did. Now with just few more dead lines to go the battle seems far from ending. I must not burn out, not yet!

Designing, drafting, monitoring, supervising, managing I have done till now still I’m not sure of position I’m in (I don’t want to take myself as liability to the design hahaha budu!). I must admit I have the tendencies of not completing things I ventured but I hope I’ll get things done (I must). Come to think about it I just remembered that I haven’t check on the as built design. Closing this project could be the hardest thing in the overall tasks that I have been given not to mention liaison between giant companies. Have strength I should remind myself and often! Honestly I’ve burned out long time ago but there’s no running away, there’s no turning back, I just have to do it (cause there’s no one wanted to do it) this could be my stepping stone regardless of my lack of discipline in all things (all things!) I’m not giving up, not yet!

Remembering the opportunity or the courage to take this task is something similar to a dare devil’s move but I hope I will not die trying. There is something fishy but I’m up to it. Plus something funny happen and I just can’t wait for the outcome it shivers me timber.

Sunday dementia

Evening rose in a blink as I sat quietly pampered in my lovely couch going through every channel in subscription. Sunday has its way to leap me to dementia; I thought of philosophy and should cry into ‘eureka’ as food was always on my mind ‘these’ days. I surf the net looking for traditional ‘Kimarangang’ clothes and just to be frustrated as I not know the looks of it. I’m lost in world of modernity still my heart is more harmonious thinking of the old days of Tandek. Realizing changes, I found out Tandek is not the one I know back then. People change some of them left Tandek in search of new opportunities and some people changed to vile as news of murder saddens the community there. Tandek! What have we forsaken thee? And I’ll give my moment of silent in respect of the victim’s family God bless.
Still I’m looking for kimaragang traditional costume. The original looks & design as it was told from my grandmother to my mom. I wanted to see the crafts back in the pre-british era. What the kimaragang have offered to the world of fashion. I have few photos I got from the internet

Above: I don’t know if this is the real kimaragang costume but the photogrpher (mewot) claimed this picture is a choir group from kota marudu.

Left: If I’m not mistaken this are dancers from Kg. Tingkalalon, Dancing on pinakang music. I was there but didn’t take any picture. (thanks my sabah.com)

Below: This is the same dancers from Tandek with different Kimaragang costume, dancing the momiluk (warior dance kalau nda silap la)

Bottom: Kimaragang from Pitas district.

Malaysia Day

Happy Malaysia Day everyone today in 1963 North Borneo join the federation of malaysia, so enjoy the freedom but remember we are subjected to the law. hahaha

I'm still waiting for the new government to form, is it true or not? history in the making maybe who knows. Anyhow there's still less flag flying around (nobody seem to care anymore as different view in celebrating the independence day) almost non.

I almost forgot that, tonight (on the 15th to be precise) I was on my way back to my house when I was stopped by 2 teenagers. As it was raining heavily they asked me if I could sent them to their house. So being a friendly neighbour I offered my assistance. Few blocks away, 2nd junction and there we go home sweet home. They thank me as i smiled and drove back to my sweet home. Good neighbour is hard to find or come in handy nowadays but setting good example to future generation is something you called priceless. Just trying to make a better living for us all yet good things just don't happen over night but tonight it happened. Hahahaha

p/s - the girl looks cute though...might get the chance to meet her again?

Hope

Everybody is familiar with the word. We live we hope at the same time. I was in a meeting somewhere in May and one participant voices out of the question he was asked “I hope” he said and the chairman replied “this is not a church, this is a business meeting, we do not hope but we deliver”. Crazy as it sound but it’s true. In modern speeding up city like here we are expected to deliver not to hope. Suddenly I found out I’m in a similar situation where I hope too much. I have made calculative hypothesis to the problem and yet I hope. Even though I would know exactly the outcome there is still bits of me hoping, I’m guessing that I’m not as I’m sure it is or the deviation could be around the corner or I could be running out of luck. So with all the hypothesis, the collective approach we are still govern by luck? Or am I just seeking for comfort to the entire situation? The data that collected showing sign of failure it’s time to bail it out but I’m still hoping to squeeze me into the right result. I hoped at the end.

Stupidity is among great characters of men, I know now why hope even when there’s nothing to hope for. I’ve run few statistical tests for luck and I believed that luck does not run out as the frequent you used it, some people are just born lucky. Getting lucky is not a matter of chances, although the more trial result the best chances. Writing up till today makes me think the assumption that I’ve sets may lack of some important ingredient i.e. karma, culture and luck. I need to run a graphical presentation to make it more understandable, to show the significance between these variables.

As questions aroused in life, some judgment left uncalculated but we might just hope to make it possible. For calculated action it’s just a matter of luck to differ its result but we hope it would turn our way. Then again there’s nothing wrong in doing it (hoping) just a view that should we not make a better decision for us when we knew there is no more hope than to hope for miracle. I guess it shows that there is something in life that we don’t want to accept but in time we’re forced too. Beauty in the word yet delusion it prevails I found myself amused for doing so. And as nocturnal creature set out hunting this late dusk with full moon slightly appear beneath the misty cloud. I’m getting out for food myself.


Addition: The lost and found of love in September will remains in the thought of love ones.

Busy Bee

It’s back to the normal routine of life. Work! For most of us this is what we have been trained for, both intuition and education. We are born to work as modern world require money to every necessities in life, yet at the same time we are lazy to do things repeatedly (I know I do). Some might prefer the 9 to 5 routine, some might work different hour and some might work overtime. That’s why the paradigm of ‘government servant’ is most preferable in society (not to mention some of the agencies have law protection for employee, the 186 KK). Working for a long secure government company where after employment benefits i.e. pension and gratuity plus retirement funds are waiting for them. What more could you ask for? Well some of us may choose to differ from this, working for themselves their own boss or working temporally. To be your own boss is hard yet the return is extravagant (considering your business is a bomb, profits by profits) but when things are not right it can be disastrous. We see lots of fails and comebacks in the business world and the less fortunate are buried down for good. Cruelty and the beauty of business only known to businessmen, I know I’m neither a businessman nor an entrepreneur but I know earning a lofty some of money is amazing. I don’t shift company as I shifted in jobs that I do most of the time, I don’t hold honorary scroll till I’m sought after (by another firm, rival least) but I do hold some scrolls enough to earn me a living. I’m not belonging to a government agency so I have to works crazy hours to have a retirement plan and frankly speaking I’m not protected by law clause 186 KK and found myself charged by it. Yes, I don’t like repetition yet I keep on doing it. Like it or not we’re a part of economic system, we’re subjected to not only laws but culture, norms, rules and economy. It is just a matter of our will to turn the table around to make us better than others (ofcourse in a good way) to be one step above in the plateau to be smiling at the end of the month (at the end of the day).

I know it's not all sunshine to wealth but knowing that wealth is there yet to be discovered is something that took your sleeping hours away. I can't recall but I think Einstein said that things started from wondering or day dreaming (I don't recall heheheh) but I know a friend who said that "berangan ja puas-puas bukan juga kena bayar kalau berangan-angan".

Culture

We are either born or living our lives through it. It could be what we are and norm base of ones society.

I looked up in the internet and found that culture means; ‘the totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought’ (now this is C&P technique). Now by this definition I’m questioning myself, does culture represent the society as whole or it’s just a sub topic of society. It’s more like the chicken and egg question which comes first, nevertheless I wanted to know if society develops culture as it was accepted normative behavior or the society is influenced by culture which they might have adapt for nature observations. But either way still culture remains as (as mentioned) transmitted behavior etc.

This is ‘Chincai’ observation, it’s too chincai I don’t have to leave my home for this. I figured out that culture must be introduced by a greater or important figure in society; it might be the ruler or highly respected members of it. At the same time any kinds of suggestions of beliefs interact kindly towards the community. Culture will consist of all system of beliefs and institution which eventually grow as political beliefs (now this is macro view). In order to maintain culture, it must be able to maintain the community both in economic and spiritual needs (iti nopo Marxism suggest opium of society). The evolution of culture now advocated on the outside influences of another culture. Expansion leads to interaction between other groups of communities. And non-the-less events happened that might have change or altered the core culture itself. Thus mixed culture would be proposed combination of core culture with the outside influences. In general this is the evolution of culture yet the transformation is rather slow as interactions between different groups are seldom occurred. The challenge is the mass media of world culture (westernization), we are slowly turning our lifestyle towards it (including this blog). World culture may be results of interaction of various groups around the world and sharing things in common. It’s widely accepted among many yet still western will always be different from Asia. The other side of the globe, sure it is. But its globalization, the new era and we will belong into a single culture called the earth culture.

Individually culture is felt very pleasant to such community belongs to it. So preservation of ones culture is essential for the survival of individual self need. Although we’re going through speed changes in our lives, we shouldn’t take our culture as simple as it is. The survival one culture still depends on the needs of its community, significant or relevant to the new world breed. Our forefathers lived their lives and subjected to their culture is what made us today.

Rungus people have maintained lots of its tradition for ages I’m proud of them, so lets preserve ours as well or any of us cause we ceased to be forgoten of what we are.

For the love of God

I think every guitar player must have heard this song (for the love of god) it's one of Steve Vai’s most famous songs of all time. So take a moment listening and show how you feel about god.

People nowadays have all kind of perception about god although it's not very far from what our religion thought us (despite being jewish or christian or muslim or other kinds of it) god is great. Living in such modern world caught us with a lot of question about god. Some of them might be annoying and some are quite funny. Sometimes it's funny when we believed but we didn't do as it was told, in my eye if a person believed in God but not following most of the teaching he/she must be a god believer but not religious. The question of 'do you believe in god' doesn't tell what your religion is. Being faithful may be subject to what religion you are, it shows character. Yet all kind of religion asks us to be good and good is actually determine base on the norms of the society. Lets say that you are talking to a religious preacher and the preacher told you that although you believed in God but you didn’t do as what told because you are not scared enough to do it, you are not terrified by the consequences of Gods punishment. Now the idea of the preacher is that you have to do Gods teaching so you wouldn’t end up in hell. Hell is where human get punish for wrong doing and the mind would interpreted it as something horrifying. Now if you believed in god but not religious it shows that you are not afraid of god. If I were to put this in a much nicer way I would say that ‘you think of god as great and as wonderful as anything in imagine, thus there’re nothing harmful of Him (God) and since god is the light, the savior how on earth would you think god could be terrifying.’ The only thing is we believed but we didn’t love Him. Love is something that you do even though the person whom to be loved irritated by things that you do but because of love the person let pass stupidity. So I believe that if we love God, we do anything to earn Gods love in return.

For some this is quite an explicit text especially came for an eyed view but I’m just challenging my mind out of something and out of something I came with this. To a few it’s a matter of belief, to the many it’s a matter of faith. We might be secretive about this matter but atleast we chose what to believe.

Frankly I was actually interpreting about a song called “for the love of god” by Steve Vai. Cheers! Teda ancakan paradigma hehehe.

Karma and the horror of it.

Karma has it way of getting through me, I was shocked how it blows and left me wondering. Guys, these are not to be taken for granted. Karma is a system of beliefs that return the ‘favor’ back to you, so if bad out bad in and good out good in (but in some cases, you asked people to GET OUT they just keep on coming in). Ofcouse we’ll notice more on bad things happened, especially if you have something really (I mean REALLY) bad, then all of a sudden………

BLOW! Kicks in the head, you left paralyzed with eyes spinning wonder, wonder and wondering how on mother earth that you got in to this? Then some negative thought, creeps into your nervous mind swallowing all lights of positivism. Now your heart is the next target, dark cloud that clouded the mind of once reign in light slowly comes as it reaches the innocent hearts covering every inch of it like a dark hand grasping on a soft plum. “Help me GOD! Thou art my savior” these words of intuition rushed, you are suffocating, you can’t feel your legs, your vision narrowed and finally comes to total blindness. KABOOM! Faint. Then you pull yourself out of it, “astaga, turuk juga… nokuro kono terjadi baino diti, nunu nogi? Nokuro….” With head shooked against you palm.

God! It’s terrible isn’t? I have been experiencing some of this (crap!) quite sometimes, not that much but yeah, life is about doing things, so you might have done some of ‘this and that’ while you’re breathing, it could involve another being or living thing (so, cutting trees with greed is bad) and they could get injured in the process. So when karma strikes you started to think bout what have you done. That’s why when something happened we always said “what have I done? (or what have I done this time? Or come on god? Not again)”. Natural respond, come to think of it we have brains that monitors our behavior in life, it’s like a behavior bank (I know we’re about to have a DNA bank, so back to JPN but this time you’ll be giving some of your flesh instead of your picture. I don’t know if it’s good or bad. Funny countries are actually runs by comedians) and we use it to check as reference in some of the things returned to us. So it all makes sense now, the black cloud, horror explanation of what happened to your heart, everything is just a process of checking your behavior prior to what happened.

“Gila bah our brains this” (penampang style ni) it is so powerful that even scientist having hard times studying it. I even heard about ‘myth of the 10% brain usage and another 90% is a psychic potential ‘. Super! Now I can use it to enhance my ‘genjutsu’ skill and maybe some mangekyou sharingan. Anyways I feel like I need to remind myself on my behavior so I wouldn't get caught in a mess which I am part of it. Believe me guys; you don’t wanna spent even half of your day thinking that you have done something wrong even though you did. Hahahaha maybe next time I could learn how to deflect it “kasi tai chi sikit mah!” and if it works in the long run I’ll share some.

“In the long run, we are all dead” John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946).

Lastly - Happy Merdeka!! 31 Aug 1957 the Malaya independence -

Garnishing my words

Coffee stain on a paper, that’s what I got. I heard new places to go here in this wonderful borneo.
1. Meliau basin – tour trip about a week
2. Em’ bak canyon – 2 to 3 days trip
3. Danum valley – not know yet

Got few friends in the diving industry I bet I could clinch a lesson on diving and sets off to Mabul or Sipadan Island. This is what missing in life (garnishing the dish). Getting out of this disorganized life, funny thing is mistakes are only lessons in life (I hope this is true). Putting it in another way “there are no mistakes, just lessons to learn”, crappy stuff! Well my cousin is reading a book on motivation and as we tangle thoughts thru it I would say I was pretty motivated.
Recently I was going thru this economic textbook and hoping to find some answer about inflation, interest rates and others I was halted by some his phrases, then laughter came in. I can say that we (the whole family) laugh at each other a lot. Then I’m back to the economic thing, I’m actually hoping to make use of some economic knowledge for financial freedom (although I don’t have much burden in financial commitment but a lift off to wealth couldn’t harm us) I’m trying to understand investment other things that set you off traveling for the next winter. Hahahaha snow, I’m picturing it now, but first thing first getting some slice of the pie. So back to the interest rates which have a positive relation with investment (seriously, I’m reading economic textbook).

This week is something to be remembered as last year event, wasted! That’s the word for it. Perfect inch, it adds up to the disorganization of life (and my kitchen starting to smell). Here we are hanging around having fun had a lot to eat had a lot to drink, didn’t care about tomorrow and one morning you woke up you realized you’re earning lesser with bad breeze of dark aura. God spared the souls of broken men, everybody pissed! Even the person whom supposed to be pissed upon PISSED! But everyone have their rights to be in any mood regardless of their surrounding as long as he/she knows the consequences for their action. For me sitting there in the corner reading would be the best silent disguised (and act like nothing happened, my god this is going to take at least a week to be normal). Gosh, I got to alter my direction this ship has lost it course the captain got sea sick, navigation error is not acceptable technical error is okay. So Chop! Chop! Now, we got a ship to save and ai, ai, captain, GODSPEED!

Medals

So far so good, (so what, that’s megdeth) got one silver medal two which didn’t count for the medal tally, fuel price dropped and the USA women soccer team won gold. Speaking of the USA WNT, my words they’re beautiful, I really mean it watching Heather Mittz got me going crazy. Everytime I saw her on the tele I go “girlfriend!”, phew! That’s how a defender should play, and she looks gorgeous with the “sangul” hair style (it’s like a pony tail twisted into a ball like thingy, I didn’t know what it called) I was impressed by their performance no offence to the Brazilian team they are great too with much to offer it’s just too bad they couldn’t won it. But Heather Mittz! She makes my day, I’m head over heels, smiling.
Brazilian striker “Christine” is nor less with her beauty and athleticism, she’s just fantastic running with the ball, pure sports woman. I bet women are now more enthusiast playing football and I have no objection towards it (as long they have something to offer).
Before the women’s football final, Deutschland frauen fussball team got the bronze (uber alles deutsch!) too bad they couldn’t get the gold. As a world champion, they should have gone further. Non the less its still breath taking against Japan. Women’s football got nice balance of other countries, we can see America, Europe and Asia at their best. But for the frauen fussball………… Conny pholers, I just have 6 words for her “can’t take my eyes off you”. Germans are better athlete Kerstin Garefrekes especially, tall, runs like a dude and strong. While playing as unit i don’t think anyone does it better than the germans. Well they just didn’t have much luck then but until the next tournament.

Last congratulations to Misbun sidek and Lee Chong Wei on winning the sliver medal, we couldn’t give more support but what they have done is something unforgettable (the yelling in front of kids and tele) you have make your mark. I hope i’ll make mine too.